Review by Rick West

Man.  Talk about a maze with a mess of a history.  To understand, we have to go back to its debut last year at Knott's Halloween Haunt.

Cornstalkers was one of those mazes that everyone was talking about and it was hyped through the roof before Haunt even began.  I'm not exactly sure how that happens, but it does.  And this was definitely the case with Cornstalkers.  People seemed absolutely stoked and giddy that Knott's was getting a corn maze.  I'm guessing to some people, the idea of being in the middle of a corn field with monsters popping out is terrifying.  I get that.  I just have issues with it.

First, Cornstalkers has never been located deep in a corn field somewhere - it's right there in Camp Snoopy/Fiesta Village, next to La Palma with noisy cars and people walking by just on the other side of the tall fence.  I've been to a real corn maze in Hollister (yes, that Hollister - and you're all weird for wearing "name brand clothing" because Hollister is nothing any tourist would ever want to see, let alone promote) and even when I was truly in the middle of nowhere under a star-speckled night sky, it wasn't that spooky.

Second, corn mazes stink.  If you have allergies, you're instantly screwed by the dust and the general pains in the ass that come along with corn stalks.  Not a fan of dust.  Not a fan of the corn maze smell - especially as it's rotting at Knott's throughout the month.

So yeah... in my opinion, corn mazes not made out of synthetic materials just suck all the way around.  Plus, guests are totally inclined to destroy whatever stalks are left standing after the overly-excited maze monsters have destroyed the corn by pulling on it, hiding in it, etc.  All in all, a super-bad idea, if you ask me.

In 2008, the corn that Knott's purchased for Cornstalkers was rotten and virtually gone from the maze by the third week of Haunt.  This left guests with a lame, odd outside "switchback" maze... a corn maze without much corn.  Sad.  Lame.  Someone didn't do their homework and it wasn't known until too late that Knott's had invested in corn that never would have lasted the run anyway.  What's even more disheartening, is that Cedar Fair, which had used corn at other Haunts didn't bother relaying the information to Knott's... so it was all around, a huge mis-communication and lack thereof.  At the end of the day, the monsters had nowhere to hide and the guests were left with a crappy maze experience.  And that's a shame.

Fast-forward to 2009.  The maze went up, the corn arrived - and by many accounts, it was already rotting and covered with maggots.  Yep.  Maggots.  I'm not making this up - I started getting texts left and right from people.  That's horrifying stuff and certainly Knott's had to be instantly frustrated and asking, "WTF?"  However, that's what happened and Knott's had to deal with it quickly.

Maggots nowhere to be found, the corn went up in the maze - and actually remained fairly intact this season, despite the abuse of monsters and guests and the ever-turning hands of time as the hot Southern California sun beat down on it and rotted it more day by day.  By the end of the Halloween Haunt run, the corn really smelled.  Not pleasant.

Corn 101 lesson over.  Now, the talent...

I'm not sure what happened, but the talent for the most part in Cornstalkers this year was very weak.  Definitely weaker than last year.  And that's a shame - because like I've said, there are a lot of people that for their own reasons, really like Cornstalkers.  But as far as scares, the talent just seemed (again, this is for the most part - there were several individuals that were mucho better than the rest at scaring and being interactively freaky with Scary Farm guests) lackluster and boring.  Also, as you can even see in the video flow-through of the maze, the timing of the monsters' scares were all wrong and off.  It seemed like they wouldn't come out at us until after we'd passed or were too far past to be startled or frightened by them.  Other times, they would just kind of stand there and look at us.

Not scary to stand and stare or tilt your head.

Unless you're Michael Myers.

And that was a different Halloween event further up the freeway.

The theming of Cornstalkers was pulled back this year and the really odd Wizard of Oz thing was axed; so no tin men, no witch... and that is a good thing, because the whole Oz thing was lame and totally lost on guests last year.  It didn't work at all.  So, it was a good decision to eliminate that aspect of Cornstalkers for the 2009 season and let those folks just be corn monsters.  Unfortunately, the majority of corn monsters were just kind of "there".  Not impressive and very damaging to the legacy of this maze - if there is much of a legacy to mention to begin with.

There are fleeting moments of really nice soundtrack work throughout Cornstalkers.  From crows to ambient music to the giant Jack-o-Lantern laughing at the maze's entrance, the soundtrack was fine - but when you mix the other soundtracks in with it - La Palma traffic, ride operators yapping away at guests on neighboring rides in Fiesta Village and the general noise of an operational theme park - the effect of a good soundtrack is lost for the most part and the illusion that the audio helps paint is completely whitewashed.  The fact that you see many of the Fiesta Village rides from Cornstalkers doesn't help matters at all, either.

In fact, it didn't help either that the switchback elements of Cornstalkers were removed - it was just pretty much a straight-forward shot all the way through.  So then, does Cornstalkers even qualify as a maze, or would it be more like "Scary Corn Walk"?  Cornwalkers, maybe?  I dunno.  But the maze was awfully dull as far as layout is concerned.  Another mark against it.

The bottom line - having an outside maze completely open is a very, very difficult challenge.  And in the case of Cornstalkers, it failed.  There are just too many negatives working against it for it to be successful.  I would be very surprised if Knott's brings it back for a third season in 2010.  It's expensive, it rots easily and is a pain to maintain.  If they do bring Cornstalkers back, I for one, will not expect much at all.

OH... I almost forgot.. the bungee gag in the open, completely un-themed and brightly-lit... yeah.  Not the greatest thing I have ever seen at Halloween Haunt.  Did anyone get scared or startled by this, or was it simply put there for someone to play on each night for their own entertainment?  Bungees only work when there is an element of surprise - like in Club Blood, which has a very effective bungee scare.  The gag in Cornstalkers... a shamefully lost cause.  Bad, bad placement, Knott's.  You know better than that.  Either do it right or don't spend the time or the effort on it at all.

And that's it.  Cornstalkers.  A third year would be a big mistake.

BACK TO HALLOWEEN HAUNT 2009 CONTENTS PAGE